It has been often said that the month of March come in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Given its position in the calendar, March is prone to some stormy weather as it tries to transition from winder into spring. But generally by the end of the month things are beginning to calm down. Of course, this is not true of everywhere; and only 90% true of Michigan. (Interestingly enough, the phrase has less to do with the weather and more to do with the stars.)
This year I decided to take an inverse approach to the New Year. I decided it would be better to allow the old year to slip away and to let 2010 come in with minimal prompt. So as people all over the Eastern time zone were singing “Auld Lang Syne,” kissing a loved one, or generally getting toasted, I was sitting at my laptop playing Civilization IV and walking a movie on my desktop computer. I didn’t realize it was 2010 until 10 after the hour.
Seeing that a new year is upon us, I thought I should take the opportunity to offer my best wishes to everyone and to generally let people know I am still alive. I know it has been some time since there as a regular posting on the site. And honestly I have been wanting to write but thought it best to devote my attentions elsewhere. I have every hope and plan to come back to this site and continue writing. I miss it dearly. Besides I love having a creative outlet.
As I said so abruptly in September, my family is going through a trying period at the time. This has continued and is the main reason for my silence. When things have completed, I’m sure the Lord will wish me to make a disclosure of what has taken place. But as for now, I think it best to focus on the good things in life. Of course, prayers for God’s will to be done in our lives are always welcome.
Let me just mention a few updates. Amy is no longer having migraines. Shortly after my last regular post, she saw the headache specialist in Lansing and he put her on Depakote which relieved the pain. He also determined that her headaches were stress induced and made worse from depression. But she has been relatively pain free from the last 3 months.
The kids are continuing to get bigger. In November, we had parent/teacher conferences. With Abby we knew what her teachers would say. “Abby is a joy to have in class, but she worries a little too much.” So when we came out we were not surprised too much by what they had said. The next night was Corey’s appointment and we were not sure what they would say. I have often joked about how Corey would be the child I would get the phones about from parents, teachers, and angry school officials. However pleasantly we were glad to hear he has been excelling in the junior first program. You can also see he is trying a little harder outside of class to improve reading and comprehension.
As for my, by big news is that I am no longer working for EDS in Lansing. I have traded in my 36 mile one way trip for a quarter mile one way trip. In October, I started at Covenant Eyes in Owosso and it has made a world of difference in my life. For those who are not aware of CE and what they do, we are an internet filtering and accountability program that helps people break their addiction to internet pornography through building open and honest relationships. Quite literally, the program give people the potential to change lives and save marriages. And in the 3 months I have been there, I’ve had more deeply rewarding experiences than I did in 10 years with EDS. It was literally the hand of God directing me on this one folks. It had to have been because I hate change. Besides, I gave up a 401k and medical benefits for 3 months. Talk about your leap of faith. Its not to say we have not been sick at all during that time. In all actuality, The kids have had the flu, Abby has to have some blood drown, and Amy had a kidney stone and H1N1. But the Lord provided the means. (I managed to stay healthy.)
Christmas was fun this year. Santa was very generous or maybe believe the good act a little much because he got the family a Wii this year and an assortment of games. While the family was unwrapping it, I was using Abby’s video camera she had received from my mom to record the moment. Of course, from my vantage point the box did not say Wii. It said, “!!M.” Which in the Khoisan language, the “!” represents a click sound in the word. So I read the box as, “click click MMM.” This, of course, was what we Nicknamed the Wii in the setup menu.
Right now the current favorites are Wii Sports Resort and Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games. Corey has really taken to the Swordplay games on Sports Resort. He was also the first to get a Gold Medal in the Winter Olympics. (Using the character Yoshi, he won the Gold in Figure Skating.) Abby hasn’t really played the Wii too much yet. However, she did managed to take down both Corey and myself in a masterful execution of beginners luck at Swordplay. As for myself, I’ve enjoyed the 100 pin bowling on the Sports Resort and I have become obsessed with find all 80 points of interest on Wuhu island. (I still have 2 to go.)
Two other gifts of some importance to me are worth noting at this time. Amy got me a picture that I have been wanting for years. Its called, “Jesus Laughing” and it is my absolute favorite painting of Jesus. You can almost hear the laugh coming from it. Many would tend to think He is laughing at mankind in general. But I like to think considering the group of guys He chose as His closest friends, He had to have laughed once and a while.
My other favorite gift this year was a sword. My mom bought me a sword. Its actually a very simple and hand crafted Crusader Sword. I won’t go into too much details, but the purpose is related to the book, Wild at Heart. Maybe one day I will find a chance to write more about it.
Well, I’m going to take this chance to wish everyone a Happy New Year. May it be a year filled with hope, possibilities, and best of all; Love.
I wanted to let everyone know I am taking a sabbatical from my blog for a while. I don’t know how long it will be and I hope to eventually be sharing with you again.
I hope you will all understand as I take this break so that I may attend to issues that have arisen in my family. My family and I covet your prayers at this time.
Originally started in 1882, Labor Day was designed to be a day dedicated to the achievement of the American workforce. Over the next 127 years it has become the last blow-out of summer. A chance for kids to enjoy the last bastion of freedom that summer vacation offers. To others, Labor Day has become the last chance to get away as a family and enjoy some quality time before the hectic schedules of the school year take over their lives. For me, Labor Day meant all of those things and the chance to stay up all night to watch the Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon. Invariably, I would end up falling asleep no matter how hard I tried to, as Ed McMahon used to say, “Stay up with Jerry and watch the Stars come out.”
This week has not been the action packed thrill ride that Amy’s weeks in the hospital have been. But it certainly has been more exciting than the last several week where nothing has been happening. The best part is that Amy has not been the only one to have all the fun. It actually got spread around a little.
On Monday my week started as normal. What started out as a Monday as usual ended up as a packed Tuesday morning. After a quiet night, I came out to go home only to find my tire had been slashed during the night. This wasn’t really the wake up call I wanted. So I pulled into a parking lot across from work and began the laborious task of changing my tire to the spare. While I was working on the tire, A co-worker pulled over next to me. It turns out his tire was slashed as well. We found out later that there were 3 of us who were slashed as part of a group of individuals that were cruising around Lansing on bicycles slashing tires. At least that is what we heard from an article in the Lansing State Journal. Fortunately, with a little help, I was able to get a “new” used tire on the car so I could make it back and forth all week.
Now I need to make a small correction from my last blog. Amy’s appointment with the headache specialist was not on Wednesday. It was actually on Tuesday. I know it’s splitting hairs, but I wanted to be clear. The appointment actually turned out to be a chance to gather some hope for the road ahead. The doctor is apparently one of the few headache specialists in the country. Also we had heard some good things about him prior to the appointment.
When she went in, the doctor started going through and reviewing her MRI and CT scans. He told her, according to the reports, the people who had been reading the scans were not board certified. Then, he reviewed her medications. He ordered her off the Dilaudid and Topamax. The reason for no longer taking the Dilaudid is because all it did was cover the pain and did nothing to help cure the migraine. He ordered her to cease taking the Topamax is because in a person with normal kidney function Topamax doubles the chances creating kidney stones. However, as those of you who have read the this blog for a while will know, Amy does not have normal kidney function. So the chances increase exponentially. In place of those medications he ordered Vistaril and Pamelor. Vistaril is meant to replace the Dilaudid and also works as an antihistamine. Whereas the Pamelor helps with falling asleep and heightens the effects of the anti-depressant she is taking. As of now there is no time frame to when he thinks he will be able to help her. For example, its going to take her another 3 weeks just to wean herself off of the Dilaudid so that he can determine has been going on. Even though it is highly addictive, she needed the Dilaudid to keep her comfortable until she could get to the appointment with the specialist. He also ordered her to not get anymore epidurals at the pain clinic because, like the Dilaudid, they only mask the pain and do nothing to aid in a cure.
On Wednesday, she had to go over to East Lansing, because the specialist had ordered an array of tests to figure out what has been happening in the head. Aside from a panel of blood work, he ordered her to get another MRI; along with a MRA and a MRV. The worst part of these tests was that she had to be in the imaging chamber for an hour and a half without moving. All the while, the resonance of the machine was shaking her head and causing her pain level to spike through the roof. Unfortunately, we won’t know what the results of the tests will be until Wednesday when she goes back for a follow-up appointment.
And as always, I’ll update you as soon as I know something.
Looking back over the previous 120 blogs, I’ve noticed that the times I’ve made references to phone calls have never been in a positive light. Once was the phone call that came when I was still several hours from the end of my night at work. This resulted in an emergency trip to the ER for Amy. Another time was the phone call that came at the beginning of church that could have disrupted the service had the phone not been set to vibrate. Again, this call, like it’s predecessor, led to an emergency trip to the hospital; but this time only for me. Friday brought a different type of phone. It was one we have not been used to getting; but fortunately we knew how to handle it.
I was relaxing in my chair Friday morning trying to figure out what is so funny about some of the cartoons they have on television; when the phone rang. It was the receptionist from the headache specialist in Lansing. She was looking for Amy. As fate would have it, Amy was not home at the time. She had actually left earlier in the morning to run to Lansing to get refills on her pain meds before they ran out over the weekend. This would result in making a bad situation worse. But since Amy wasn’t home, I gave her Amy’s cell phone number.
When Amy got home in the early afternoon, she was excited to tell me her good news. It seemed odd since there really hadn’t been much good news in the last several months. In reality, it almost seems like our house is like the little town that was excited to hear about the new highway coming through their area. They prepared to welcome the travelers that would be surging down the road. Only to be disappointed as a bypass was built around their town. That is what good news is like in our house.
But indeed her news was good. The doctors office was calling to tell her there had been a cancellation and they were able to move her appointment up 2 weeks. So now instead of waiting until September 15th, she can get in to see the specialist next Wednesday (9/2). I know 2 weeks doesn’t seem like a big deal, but in terms of the migraine Amy has bad now for the past 7 months, its huge. So now we are a little bit closer to someone who may have an answer. Plus this also gave me something upbeat an positive to write about in what would have been another week of nothing happening.
Recently, I was reminded of a string of jokes that Jeff Foxworthy where he compares the differences sophisticated people and rednecks. Now considering the branching problem in my family tree a few generations back, I have long given up on the idea I am one of the world’s sophisticated people. But his argument does have merit. He says:
“Sophisticated people have stock portfolios, rednecks buy commemorative plates. Sophisticated people have retirement plans, rednecks play the lottery. Sophisticated people go to auctions, rednecks have yard sales. Sophisticated people play chess, rednecks amuse ourselves for hours with a sheet of bubble wrap.”
Now Amy’s bubble wrap fascination aside, it was made clear to me we fall in the “non-sophisticated” range of people. Maybe not landing hard on the bottom of the gene pool as some, but not neither do we soar with the eagles.
This being said, I wanted to point out that Friday night’s Mega Million’s Lottery jackpot was $325 million. And in true redneck form I purchased my ticket. Now I know that the odds of winning are HEAVILY stacked in the houses favor and the Bible says that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil (1 Timothy 6:10). But honestly, I’d like to be able to use that money to payoff Amy’s medical bills and to have a cache in case (God forbid) this sort of thing should happen again. Also to set some aside so that my kids can have a college education without the albatross of huge student loans. I want to help my church and other deserving ministries that use to money to do God’s work. (Sort of like Christian money laundering. See above verse for punchline.) And finally, I want to help my family and friends. To repay debts to them and to help out those who are struggling. I know that this is just a pipe dream. But part of me thinks it would be nice to respond like Tevye when his future son-in-law, Perchik, tells him that money is the world’s curse. In response Tevye says, “May the Lord smite me with it. And may I never recover.”
Well that’s all for now. I’ll post more when I have it and when I can.
There is definitely a snip in the air as autumn approaches. Its time to start thinking about preparing for the turning of the leaves and for birds to fly south. In baseball, its time to get ready for the pennant race. For the other major sports, its time to get ready for their season. Its also time to face the fact that summer is slipping away and soon school will be starting. For the couch potato set, the fall television schedule will be starting soon.
This week was another of the weeks where nothing happened. Amy didn’t have much happen. The most she had to do this week was to go to Lansing to get her MRI results from Sparrow hospital for her Headache specialist. The appointment is still a month away. Personally, I fear that she may get to the appointment and be told then need to have newer MRI pictures.
The biggest adventure this week has been Abby and Corey going to Vacation Bible School. This year, the church presented Son Rock Kid’s Camp. The whole church was decorated like the great outdoors. With trees and animals taped to the walls, pine cones and bows dangling from the chandeliers, and a paper streamer waterfall flowing from the projector screen in front, the VBS workers went out of there way to make this year special for the kids.
One of the best parts of VBS was on Thursday when Abby, Corey, and I spent the night at the church as part of the VBS camp out. It was a night of games and fun which included a cookout of hot dogs and s’mores. After watching the movie Sterling: The Secret of the Lost Medallion, it was off to sleep in their tents and sleeping bags. Of course, I didn’t go to sleep. Having just come off of my three day, night shift, week, I spent the night sitting up playing solitaire and sudoku and watching The IT Crowd. Pastor Dean told me the next time we have an overnight camp out at the church I get to be the night security. Overall the kids and I had a lot of fun. We appreciate all the effort that was put into the whole week.
Well that’s pretty much it for what has been happening around here this week. When I know more I’ll post more.
Like many people around the world, when I’m doing my yard work I’m generally listen to my MP3 player. And as with those people, the songs on the the MP3 player or iPod say a great deal about that person. They can be a rocker, a comedian, an intellectual, or well rounded. I guess my MP3 player would tell the world I’m an eclectic person who can’t let go of the songs of the past, has to be dragged kicking and screaming to get anything new or to even try it. Someone who enjoys mixing it up with a generous mix of Christian and secular music and a wide range of humorous videos. My live would be considered partly easy listening with a generous helping of rock a dash of hip-hop, reggae, pop, and a splash of country; even though I will profess to not liking country music beyond the songs of Johnny Cash. One might even determine that I’m the type of person who has more than a mild fascination with French Pop star Alizée but is still too lazy to delete the demonstration track off his player because he doesn’t want to listen to Cutting Crews’ “(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight” every time he hits play.
Today while I was mowing the lawn I had a song hit me as they seem to do from time to time. The song of the day was “We Won’t Go Quietly” by Superchick. It was really only the first two lines that were needed to make me think. In the song, the leader sing says, “It’s been one of those days for a lot of days now. I need a day where the world can take care of itself.” This got me to thinking about how this could really apply to our lives. It really has been one of those days for going on 7 months now. It would be nice if we could have a day were the world and all its external pressures could deal with themselves and leave us alone.
Although it as been a week where you could honestly say nothing happened, its true that life and the daily day-to-day is causing its strain. I know Amy is feeling imprisoned by the migraines. The photo-sensitivity and the aversion to sound is building a world for her that seems impregnable. For me it leaves me alone for many hours by myself or with the children; devoid of adult contact. Yet we have both managed to build walls that don’t allow us to adequately communicate to the other how we are feeling. This break down in the communication cycle leads to occasional outbursts as the pressure valve of our marriage has to release some of the stored up stream to stave off a major and violent explosion. Today was one of those release days. On the plus side it helped vent a lot of the pressure in the house. (Fortunately, the kids were over to Ron and Sue’s swimming.) The downside has Amy back in a dark room because the pain is encircling her head and shooting down her arms and on to her legs.
God stepped in with one of His comedy moments after we had gotten done releasing out pent up feelings. I walked back outside to continue my yard work and put my ear buds back in to proceed with my music. The first song was Britney Spears singing, “Hit Me Baby One More Time”. All I could do was looked to the sky and ask, “Seriously?”
Currently, life seems to lack forward momentum. November still looms over the horizon for the date of the headache clinic. Nearer is the Headache Specialist in Lansing in September; three days short of 8 months. And even though I manged to scrape together a bit of money to pay a little bit on each bill. We are starting to get some where we are qualifying for financial aid. Then there is the handful we have gone to collections on that require us to work it out as best we can. In the process, we pray my job situation stays stable.
That’s it for tonight. I really don’t have much more. But I will post more when I have it.
Well August has rolled around again with everything it means. To parents, it means only one more month until kids go back to school. In major league baseball, it means the trade deadline is past and now its time to seriously think about the possibility of your team taking part of the pennant race. In weather its the Dog Days of Summer; which is a period of hot weather between July and early September.
Another interesting fact I discovered when looking up the term Dog Days of Summer is that it is a period or event that is very hot or stagnant, or marked by dull lack of progress. At times this seems to best describe what has been happening with Amy as of late. Aside from doctor appointments and waiting to get into the headache clinic, there are no major changes. Because of the pain, Amy stays in the bedroom during the day. At night she comes out for a little while before going back to the bed for the night.
One of the major milestones that happened this week is that Amy and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. On a sweltering day in August 13 years ago, Amy and I were married. It was a day that could have fit in nicely with Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors. After the ceremony, while we were taking pictures, the blowing air conditioning caused the flames on the candelabra to go wild. This caused the hot wax to drip down to the floor and a small fire started on the carpet. Then the air conditioning went out at the reception hall. This would have not been completely bad except the dress Amy was wearing was for a winter wedding. (We were originally going to get married in December, but because of my job at the time we were not able to keep that date.) Finally, the DJ didn’t play the songs we wanted because I did not rebook the DJ we wanted after the date change. Again, this wouldn’t have been so bad except we’re pretty sure the DJ brought a hooker to the wedding as a date. But thanks to some very devoted friends, the day wrapped up without a hitch and it was a beautiful beginning to our life together.
As for the rest of the week, Amy had a couple of doctor appointments scheduled. On tap this week was a visit the Primary Care Physician’s Assistant and a trip to the Pain Psychologist at the Pain Clinic. However, the PCPA appointment was rescheduled because of another commitment. At the Pain Psychologist’s appointment Amy said they are going through learning on how to live with intense pain. This seems to be a bit like asking a polar bear to learn to live with warmer temperatures.
The best news from the doctor appointments was when Amy called to talk to the PCPA about some lab work she had done. The PCPA’s nurse called back saying the labs had not been reviewed yet. However, it was decided that they were going to try to get Amy in with a Headache Specialist in Lansing. The idea being the Specialist can get her in for a visit in September instead of making her wait until November to get into the clinic in Ann Arbor. Heather her mother had gone to this doctor and spoke highly of him. So we shall see what happens.
The second half of the week was extremely uneventful as Abby and Corey went up north with my mom for a few days. Arriving home from work Thursday was very quiet without their smiling faces to greet me. Of course the high point of the weekend was Friday night when Heather and I had just finished watching Psych when Ginger wanted to go outside. Amy was back in the bedroom because she had been sick to her stomach and was throwing up. As we started watching an episode of House, M.D., Heather said she smelled a skunk. Sure enough there was a skunk somewhere outside. I called Ginger in and the fun began. Ginger had managed to tangle with the skunk.
Instantly, a green cloud filled the house. While battled to get Ginger into the cage in the basement, Heather began lighting candles. Meanwhile, the cloud had reached Amy who had started heaving more. Once things calmed down, I was off to Wal-Mart to buy skunk odor remover at 11pm. When I returned home the house was smelling better except for Ginger. By 12:30am, both dogs were bathed, the tub was scoured clean, and I was sitting in my chair relaxing from my shower. We had all earned some relax time that night.
On Saturday, we awoke to a thunderstorm going over head. This freaked Duchess out because of her fear of very loud noises like thunder and fireworks. So there was no way I was getting her to go outside. To be honest I wasn’t in a hurry with all the mud outside and the fact the dogs were clean. But it appeared that mud was the least of my worries. At some point during the storm, a tree from outside the yard fell over and landed on our fence. As near as we can figure, this is the 5th tree to land on our fence since we moved in 9 years ago. I mumbled to Amy and Heather that I’m starting to hate trees. To be honest, I can understand why they paved paradise and put up a parking lot.
Abby and Corey arrived home Saturday. We can now begin to wind down the weekend with everything as close to normal as we can get around here. I’ll keep you posted as soon as I know more.
I got a pleasant surprise this week from Amy. On Sunday morning I came out of my Sunday school class and Amy was in the back of the church chatting. It was nice to have her out of the bedroom. She managed to stay through the whole service. And even though we had to rush home because of the pain was skyrocketing, the whole family and the whole church enjoyed having her there.
Starting Monday the rest of the week returned to its normalcy. The high points being a couple of doctor appointments to break up the monotony. On Wednesday, Amy went to the pain clinic in Lansing for a medication review. This was partially a wasted trip as she is already at the maximum possible dosage for the Dilaudid that she is taking. However, the clinic doctor decided they would try increasing the dosage of Lyrica she is taking. The idea behind this is to see if perhaps the pain she is experiencing is the beginning stages of the onset of Fibromyalgia. She was telling me that it is not uncommon for Fibromyalgia to start with a migraine. Which, let’s be honest, does not sound like the way to diagnose an illness. But she told me it is sort of how it works. Fibromyalgia can look like so many other things at the same time that the only way to determine if you have it is to treat everything one at a time. If nothing works than you have Fibro.
Thursday brought another trip to the doctors. This time it was the primary care physician’s turn to check the medications. Once again, it was another trip spent without see the PCP. Again, we saw the physician’s assistant. It’s almost to the point where we need to mark her down as our family PCP on my insurance.
Anyway, she checked over everything Amy is taking. Impressively enough, the PA has managed to read all of Amy’s medical history. This is a task on par with reading the works of Dostoevsky or Tolstoy. After reading the file, she decided it would be a good idea to put Amy on a round of steroids to bring down any swelling in the head and neck. To be honest, Amy is less than thrilled. We’ve lost count of the number of times she has been given steroids as a treatment. They do not always seem to work but they manage to leave behind weight gain that is hard to take off. Maybe it would be different if she was a weight lifter or a professional athlete, but it seems to a another sign of no one knowing what to do to help. And after all this time, it never gets easy to hear the words, “I don’t know.”
So far no change to the waiting list at the headache clinic in Ann Arbor. November still seems to be set in stone. Amy did call a couple times this week to see if there were any openings, but nothing yet. So we wait again. And I’ll let you know more when I know more.
